Animal kingdom
18.10.07
Somebody recently said to
me that they thought it was funny how dog owners will
always say ‘don’t worry he won’t touch you,’ even if
their beloved pooch is growling ferociously at you.
Quite frankly folks I didn’t think it was one bit funny,
but I knew what my pal meant.
You see I’m not a dog owner and I’ve always been amazed
by people who could casually say ‘ah he won’t touch you’
and then carry on the conversation blissfully unaware
that you’ve been rooted to the spot in absolute terror.
I suspect it’s just a thing about people and their pets.
Because they are comfortable with them they think you
should be too.
Growling means nothing they think. ‘He just doesn’t know
you,’ they might say, which to me always seemed a
logical enough reason for a dog to want to take a chunk
out of your leg.
I once suggested this to a pal whose dog I’m terrified
of, but he just laughed and said I just |
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had a fear of dogs.
That’s not strictly true since I did have a dog in the
past, but for some reason some dogs just terrify me and
I make damn sure not to make them mad.
For instance did you ever notice that if you blow in a
dog’s face he gets mad at you?
That folks is something I could never figure out because
if you take a dog in a car there’s nothing he likes
better than to stick his head out the window.
To be honest I’m not a big fan of cats either, because
I’m really not that comfortable around animals of any
kind.
That’s not to say of course that I’d condone cruelty or
anything.
For instance in a guest house I once stayed in, I
quizzed the manager as to why there were so many deer
heads on the walls.
His reply was …’because they are such beautiful
animals.’
I don’t think he was too impressed when I told him I
thought my wife was beautiful…but I only had pictures of
her.
Animals of course can be beautiful, fascinating
creatures but I do still subscribe to the notion that
humans are way ahead on top of the pile.
While I was at college a language professor suggested to
me that it was man’s ability to use language that makes
him the dominant species on the planet. I just nodded in
agreement, but I still reckoned the fact that humans
aren’t afraid of ‘hoovers’ was another trait to separate
us from the animal kingdom.
(Note to men: Afraid of hoovers means in this case that
if it is switched on you’ll run and hide in fear of the
noise. Not the female definition of men afraid of
hoovers - once it’s mentioned run and hide so you don’t
have to hoover the carpet!)
Anyway, hoovers or not animals can be fascinating, and
lets be honest folks they are some pretty intelligent
animals out there too.
Take dolphins for instance, the things they can be
trained to do it’s just unbelievable.
On holiday in Spain a few years back I went to see
Dolphins and Whales, Sea Lions and all sorts of other
fishy life performing in a marine park.
I was really impressed until I was sitting in their
restaurant marvelling at what I’d just witnessed when a
sudden pang of guilt came over me. |
I was just half way through
my fish ‘n’ chips when I wondered if I was eating a slow
learner.
That’s another thing about animals and us. More of them
end up on our menu than we ever do on theirs.
Which is perhaps one of the reasons why some dogs like
to get at least some revenge for the animal kingdom by
taking a bite when they can, and is why I never go to
visit my pal unless he’s called to borrow the hoover!
On the other hand he does come to visit me, but then
again when I tell him the goldfish won’t touch him….he
knows I really mean it! |
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A DROP OF
PORTER is
the weekly
column of
Inishowen
Independent
editor,
Liam Porter. |
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