A story that kinda took on
legs...
05.12.07
You know I’m not really
that big of a fan of spiders, or in fact of anything
kinda creepy crawly, but just seeing one doesn’t send
shivers down my spine.
And that’s just as well since I live in a house where it
seems I’ve officially become the spider evictor.
It’s one of many jobs that it would seem that only I can
do, things like putting out the bins for instance.
Outnumbered by three to one I’m certain that I am not
responsible for generating the bulk of the rubbish in a
week (this column being an exception to that of course).
So I could never understand why on a cold wet winter
night it’s always been me who has had to try and crush
down that last bag of smelly rubbish into a bin that’s
been filled for a week and then drag it to the front
gate for the bin man. |
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It is that bit easier
nowadays since at least the bin has wheels on it –
remember those old ones with the handles on each side?
Now even though those handles were put on each side so
two people could take a handle each, it never really
happened did it?
You’d need arms like an Oran Utang o be able to carry it
out to the front for the bin man who did his best to try
and bring the sides that bit closer together every week
by just throwing it back on the street with a clatter.
Perhaps it’ just me, but things seem to have gotten more
civilised in the whole area of rubbish collection these
day, but I still wonder why the rubbish has got to be
collected so early?
In fact where I live you’d need to put the bin out for
collection the night before if you want to make sure you
get the rubbish lifted, and I must admit there were
nights when it’s was too dark and cold and wet and I
just couldn’t be bothered - but not any more.
You see I happen to know one or two of the bin men on
our round so on one occasion a few years ago when they
were on their rounds they had noticed I hadn’t put the
wheelie bin out.
Since they were running a little early, one of the men
on the lorry decided to do a good deed and to save me
having a week’s worth of rubbish lying all week he came
up to the door and kocked.
Of course he got no reply so he knocked and knocked and
eventually I came stumbling to the door looking
flustered.
“Jeekers, I’m sorry to bother you Liam I'm collecting
the rubbish... where's ya bin?"
To which I naturally replied – “I’ve been in bed, where
do you think I’ve been at 5.30 in the morning?”
Since that day I made a conscious decision to reduce the
number of times I’ve had to put the bin out, knowing
that since my polite thanks for the considerate thought
to my bin man pal which might have included the word
‘off’ a few times, it’s unlikely that I’ll be bothered
like that again.
Still recycling is the way to go and what better way of
starting that by using up old jokes in this column.
Anyway and not for the first time I have strayed wildly
away from the starting point of our creepy Crawly
friends and spiders.
I’ve noticed that it’s usually when I’m sitting working
away or maybe watching a match, well certainly while I’m
minding my own businesss that I get the call which says
there is a spider in the house and he has to go.
It never ceases to amaze me that while the three ladies
in the house would personally refuse to kill a spider,
it would seem like they wouldn’t mind if they were all
dead.
I was thinking about that recently and I wondered how
many of those spiders were just male spiders minding
their own business when suddenly they feel something
niggling them at the back of their mind – like an Argos
catalogue for instance.
And surely that’s not right. I certainly don’t think so
and I can’t remember the last time I killed a spider. |
Usually now I just put them
out and even sometimes I don’t even do that any more.
Still, I got the call once again this week and was told
to get up the stairs quickly because there was a huge
spider in the bath.
And as I climbed the stairs I wondered what course of
action I’d be taking, could I just sneak the spider into
a dark corner under the bath and say it was taken care
of.
As soon as I went in however my mind was made up right
away – there was no doubt that this huge spider in the
bath would definitely have to go.
I mean he wasn’t paying any rent and he had used up all
the hot water! |
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A DROP OF
PORTER is
the weekly
column of
Inishowen
Independent
editor,
Liam Porter. |
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