A Deer, Rudolph’s not what we
think! 17.12.08
HOT on the heels of the
news that Elvis is from Inishowen. What? You mean you
missed that story earlier this year? Well it’s true you
know. Well okay, it’s possibly kinda true that one of
his ancestors might, maybe have at one time hailed from
Glasheedy Island. But that’s too long and anyway it
would ruin my intro. So let’s just pretend he was, ok,
and we’ll start again.
Hot on the heels of the news that Elvis is from
Inishowen, this column has, at no expense whatsoever,
dreamt up a connection between the peninsula and one of
the most famous Christmas characters of them all –
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer.
Yes folks, in an exclusive interview for ‘A Drop of
Porter,’ Rudolph has confirmed that he not only is from
here, many of Santa’s reindeer have in fact, strong
connections with the peninsula.
“Well duh, it wouldn’t take a rocket scientist to work
out that a peninsula with places called ‘Isle of Doe’
and ‘Fawn’ would have strong reindeer connections now
would it,” he said. |
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Oh yes, we can also reveal
that unfortunately despite all the songs and the nice
wee cards and things, Rudolph is a little bit of a
pompous, (you can fill in your own word) but anyways it
would appear as if the fame has gone to his head.
If you don’t believe me, try reciting the names of all
of Santa’s other reindeer in your head right now.
It should take you no longer than six seconds unless
like me you had to use Google because you could remember
four of them but not all eight.
And don’t forget these are the reindeer who pull Santa’s
sleigh every Christmas eve that isn’t foggy – and that
by the way is most of them.
You know, I don’t normally think of myself as spiteful,
but if I was left to do all the work most of the time,
yet somebody else continued to be getting all the
plaudits and the rewards for it, I might have a few
names I’d like to call him too.
And that’s doubly true when you consider these other
deer had to undergo years of meticulous training and
hundreds of flying lessons, but as soon as there is a
little fog, Santa turns to this guy, who it now turns
out is ‘elf-taught’ to lead his team.
“Yep, I’m the leader of the pack now,” says Rudolph,
adding that as leader he gets to choose the music for
the journey any Christmas Eve he goes, and usually kicks
it off with that one just to rub it in.
However it would seem as if most of the brightness he
has is in his nose and not in his head, because we all
know that a pack is not the collective noun for a group
of reindeer. |
The answer to that of
course is (less than six seconds again folks unless you
need google!) a herd (at least that’s what I
think…although there are possible a few others).
Asked what he does for the rest of the year and indeed
on the many Christmas eves when he isn’t needed to guide
Santa’s sleigh, Rudolph explains that he keeps busy with
celebrity appearances.
Speaking through an interpreter (I don’t speak deer), he
says: “I’m a celebrity now, the most famous reindeer of
all so I’m always in demand for things like stag parties
and what not.” |
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A DROP OF
PORTER is
the weekly
column of
Inishowen
Independent
editor,
Liam Porter. |
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