The late news... 03.10.08
I usually write this column
early in the mornings. It’s not that I can think better
early in the mornings (the use of the word ‘think’ there
would nearly imply that there is some thought put into
this).
It’s not that it’s quieter early in the mornings and
it’s not even that it’s the only time of the day that I
can truly claim the remote control (cos if I did take
the remote control then I wouldn’t get around to writing
this column), it’s just well that, it’s the last
possible moment that I can actually get away with
writing it.
You see, while the ‘guys’ in our production department
might laugh hysterically if they ever bothered to read
this, there are things in place in the paper called
deadlines, and my deadline for getting the column in is
a Wednesday. |
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So, routinely on a
Wednesday morning I get out of bed sometime between 6
and 7 and just rattle out the first things that come
into my head. It’s a kinda pride thing, I like the
column to get there on time, even if I don’t.
And folks, I have to admit it, most of the time I don’t.
It’s not that I’m horrendously late all of the time, but
most of the time I’m just found lagging that wee bit.
I’ve always been amazed at how many people are obsessed
with time keeping, probably because I have never really
been.
I think it might have started when I was born and had to
be coaxed into the world with a large pair of tongs
gripped to the sides of my head. This may also explain
some of the nonsense that comes from it these days.
The slack relationship with time continued as well
because I grew up in a town that has a town clock with
four faces – all of which gave a different time…and
still do.
For anyone obsessed with time keeping I reckon this
would be a hellish place to live, because quite frankly
the word ‘sharp’ is never used in relation to time here.
I could never understand why it was anyway.
On the dot I could kinda understand, thinking about the
dots on the clock face and stuff, but sharp? What the
heck is that all about?
Still, the ‘like to be on time people’ use sharp a lot
but I think that most of the time they don’t even want
you there sharp, they’d prefer you there before ‘sharp.’
That’s why if you arrive a minute before something
‘sharp’ they’ll tell you that you were ‘cutting it
fine.’
Well, duh, if it’s going to be sharp of course you are
going to cut it fine.
Personally, and perhaps this is where the four clock
faces and a kinda averaging thing comes into play, I
prefer looser times and the ‘ish.’
The ‘ish’ I’m pretty sure was invented by those fed up
with the ‘sharps.’ It’s a more free-spirited attitude
towards time, a kinda ‘sure we’ll get there sometime’
outlook.’
Or perhaps it’s a deliberate attempt to cut it fine all
the time, an effort to try if possible not to be late,
but whatever happens, definitely not to be early.
I mean being late is one thing folks, but being early,
you don’t buy that time back.
You know the time you spent watching tv or reading just
a couple more pages or taking one last cup of coffee
before you head out. If you are early you are at
somebody else’s mercy and you are killing time instead
of enjoying it.
With that in mind I’m pretty certain that ‘Ish’ people
would make excellent space travellers, they are made for
that whole instant teleportation, the “beam me up”
technology that would mean if a meeting is at 9am and
they are still in the house at 8.50am they could be
there ‘sharp.’ |
Perhaps in the future
people like me will be shown not to have been tardy
time-keepers, but people ahead of their time, just
waiting patiently for that new technology to arrive.
In the meantime I guess I’d better head off to work
knowing that it is quite likely now that I won’t be on
time.
But hey…at least I got to finish that last cup of
coffee, not to mention control of the remote for a
couple of hours this morning. |
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A DROP OF
PORTER is
the weekly
column of
Inishowen
Independent
editor,
Liam Porter. |
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